Friday, October 17, 2008

The Hit List, Part 1

Or, as I like to call it: "Will somebody please GAG these babes... like right now?"

My up-to-date, current list of favorite celebrity hotties who are enforcing their no-gag clauses in a very serious and, frankly, quite irritating way.

Haden Panettiere

Ok, she's pretty short. Five foot nada. Politically she appears to be another Hollywood air-head liberal. But otherwise? Yeeeoowwwzzaaaa! Perfect face, perfect hair, killer bod. Amazingly, she hasn't gone Hollywood-celeb skank at all. Not a smoker, no prison tats except for one very tiny one at the bottom of one ankle that's virtually unnoticeable, and she hasn't lost so much weight that she looks like a freakin' anorexic crack ho. I think I can cure her of her liberal affliction so, Haden, you officially have my proposal of marriage.

Oh, and also, could you please get the writers of Heroes to gag you? I mean, the ratings are down, and you know how everyone loves a damsel-in-distress! Nothing too special mind you. A nice, tight, knotted cleave-gag... uh, with packing if you don't mind... would be juuuuust fine.


Pat Powers said...

I have never been all that crazy about Panatierre, but that third pic -- what a bod! She needs to get naked and gagged soonest. And writhe a lot while she's at it.

Anonymous said...

'Claire' is now chasing villains on her own. Her power is she can't die so a villain should be able to capture her and then tie & gag her very securely. Her dad has many enemies so holding her b&g as bait should happen. The head villain's minions are out catching the heroes. Still another plot that should end with her tightly tied & gagged.

Anonymous said...

I know this head's older than Lazarus, but FWIW, Hade is, in fact, a smoker.