Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Ungagables, A Few Rants, & Some Other Stuff



The great news for us gag snobs is that a quick look at the careers of most cute actresses reveals that, statistically, if they're in the business long enough, they likely will receive a gag at some point sooner or later. Indeed, an attractive actress with a long and healthy career who never gets gagged is actually an aberration. If you remove those ladies who's choice of roles all but eliminates any real opportunity (Such as Meryl Streep, who basically does nothing but films with virtually no chance of a scene, like Silkwood and Sophie's Choice) you get an even higher percentage.

Therefore, while a Teri Hatcher type career, loaded with gag scenes from multiple sources, is sadly quite rare, thankfully, so to is a uber-babe like The Hew (Jennifer Love Hewitt) completely avoiding anything even remotely resembling a gag.  Jen's had a long career both in the kind of films that have a decent statistical probability  of DiD scenes as well as a long running TV series that should have been conducive to a gag scene, yet she's been, well... ungagable.

So, all you future actresses, just know this: We gag snobs may get you a little too early (Kaley Cuoco) and we might get you a little too late (Elizabeth Taylor), but most of the time, we will get you, my pretties.

Insert diabolical laugh here.

NBA Fines Players For Saying "Faggot"

Recently the NBA fined Kobe Bryant 100 grand for ripping an official and using the word "faggot". A couple of days ago they nailed another player 50 grand for blasting some asshole in the stands with the same insult. If the NBA wants to fine players and coaches for using profanity on the court, I have no problem with that as many kids are usually in the stands and can hear that stuff. But the league has no issue with you screaming fuck bombs to your hearts content. Whisper the word "faggot" though, and they nail you.

I have a problem with that. Why is one insult so much worse than another? Because it's offensive? Pardon me, but isn't that the freakin' point of an insult, to be offensive? What if a white player is called a "cracker" or "honkie" by a black player? Will they get fined? Not likely. The N-word? Well, I could argue that's the exception that makes the rule, but we know black players can fire that one off at will with no repercussions. 

Supposedly, this was so bad because some basketball front office guy "came out" last week. So? And? More to the point, why do we even need to know that at all? Personally? I don't hate gays. I don't love gays. I... DON'T... CARE.

Live and let live is my moto, but if you try to force something on me, (You MUST love all things gay!) I'm going to react like I did when the media tried to "make" us love soccer or when Carter tried to shove the metric system on us. I'm going to revolt.

My issues with gays are their insistence on claiming special status as some put upon minority group as well as shoving their "gayness" in our faces and virtually demanding we like it.

Not going to happen.

Smoking Ban in NYC Parks Takes Effect 

Let me clear: I don't smoke. Never have, never will. I think it's a disgusting, nasty, invasive habit and you have to be a real moron to be a puffer. It doesn't make you look "cool" it makes you look like an idiot.   

That said, it just rubs my libertarian side the wrong way when smoking is banned outside in an area where people are free to come and go as they like. But even much worse, to me, are the bans on bars and restaurants allowing smoking. This one really goes against my grain because we're talking about a privately owned business. The very idea of the government telling me what I can do inside my business just bothers me to no end.  

All you democrats/liberals/socialists out there who like the government "solving" your problems, this is the kind of thing you get. Slippery slope people.

Poll Results: Bin Laden's Death

The results were basically on point with what I thought they would be, other than the three who felt Bin Laden should have gotten his day in court. My opinion on that is, (a) If he wanted his day that badly, he should have surrendered a long time ago, and (b) When you come out on video saying all of 9-11 was your plan and that you were so happy at how well it worked, it makes a trail a moot point. 

Philly Police Harass, Threaten to Shoot Man Legally Carrying Gun

One of the things I hear said by law enforcement (Real and actors) on TV and in the movies a lot is this line in one form or the other: 

"Well, at least we've taken another gun/some more guns off the streets."

What utter, completely silly, nonsensical horse shit.
I really could care less how many guns are "off the streets". What I do care about is, how many people who use guns/knives/bats/hammers/whatever to commit crimes are "off the streets". 

Remove the criminals. Leave our guns alone.


Anonymous said...

I would love to see this conversation between a player and David Stern:

PLAYER: Mr. Stern, I heard a player use the name of Jesus Christ as a swear word, are you going to fine him?

STERN: Well, you know, that's different, that's a religious thing, and we don't want to get into that.

PLAYER: Uh, Ok. But then it would be ok for me to use Allah or Mohammed as a curse word and not be fined, right?

STERN: Uh, well...hey, gotta go, nice chatting with you.

And, btw, are you going to post the original ABK? I would like to see it.

Ty M Goode said...

On a side rant:

Long before I could even drive, one could count on a few things for Memorial Day weekend. BBQ's, the Indy 500 and gas prices going up. On the latter, the patent excuse was "People are driving more".

Now, lo' and behold, prices are going down. What, everybody's buying Vespas? I'm no conspiracy theorist, except when it comes to Big Oil. With these guys, there's no "theory" about it.

The Greyman said...

Unfortunately, I suffered a catastrophic hard drive failure last year and lost all of my old files from my old site, including all of my old stories.

I'm working on recovering them, but it's taking some time.

The Greyman said...

Ty - Gas prices are "set" by the speculators, but there's another issue as well: There's no shortage of oil, but there is a shortage of oil refineries. The enviro-nuts have stopped most new refineries from being built for a long time now and that has caused a bottle-neck at times.

It always strikes me as funny at how people complain that the oil companies are fixing prices, but I never hear a peep at how Coke and Pepsi or Miller and Bud always have the same retail prices.

And, truthfully, even if they are "fixing" prices, it's their gas and they should have the right to charge what they want.

Of course, if the tree huggers would get a life and let us drill here, we wouldn't be so damned dependent on OPEC oil and their pricing whims.

Greg-O said...

Question - Do you think the guy set the police up by carrying a recorder? I mean, he must have figured something like this would happen, right? Otherwise, why have a recorder on him, anyway?

The Greyman said...

I don't see carrying a recorder as "setting" anyone up. It's a given he thought wearing a firearm out in the open might possibly draw a response, but it was up to that officer as to whether he was an asshole about it or not. Look, I fully respect cops and the often thankless job they do, but this guy was just so wrong in the way he handled the situation.

Part of the problem as I see it is these guys have been somewhat brainwashed into believing they're the only ones who're supposed to ever carry firearms in public.

The Greyman said...

CORRECTION: I should have said I respect REAL cops. Highway Patrol and other cops who's primary job seems to be skulking around shooting a radar gun or ticketing adults for not wearing a stupid seat-belt, not so much.